...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
