How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
