Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
