i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
