I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
