trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
