My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You pole danced in your parka.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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