I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
