I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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