Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
