called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
