Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
