My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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