i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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