Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
