Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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