And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
