Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want nice things and good sex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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