so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
