His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
