Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
