How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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