Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My bed smells like the plague
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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