it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
