Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize