that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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