Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize