There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
