if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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