Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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