Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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