SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
