I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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