do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
