i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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