if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
