i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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