ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
