Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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