Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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