did you get engaged???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
