I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
