My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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