They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
