did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
