Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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