did you get engaged???
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
