All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Welp...herpes.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize