My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
