What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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