VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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