the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
