you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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