Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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