You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
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