Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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