He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
