Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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