I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
