I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
