If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize