He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So much Jack, so little girl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
