I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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