Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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